Giving Up on “Shoulds”- Grabbing onto Grace (how I quit homeschool)
“In returning and rest, you shall be saved; in quietness and confidence is your strength. But you would not- and you said, “We will flee“…” Isa. 30:15-16
For the past year, I tried homeschooling my kids, believing in the truly amazing gifts it can offer a family (and I still believe this). The truth is, however, it left me weak and weepy, strained my relationships and zapped my energy. Instead of experiencing quietness, confidence and strength, I found myself “fleeing” into “shoulds”, instead of trusting His voice.
Homeschool became something I thought I “should” be doing, and instead of finding grace, I found every form of fear, worry and doubt. Not what you would call thriving. I was looking around at what the people, books and experts say is best, but not trusting God to lead me into His best for me and my family in this season of life.
“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and YOU SHALL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and my load is light.” Matthew 11:28
On Monday, I came to the LORD with my pen and journal, and got real with my heart before His. As I let my guard down in His presence, and confessed how I can’t do the “shoulds” anymore, His grace rushed around me, bringing clarity, peace and rest. I laid it down at His feet, and as I vulnerably trusted Him with my heart and my family, I felt quietness and confidence restored.
We were all created to thrive as we are aligned with God’s plan for our lives; and in that place there will be rest. We have a God who wants us trade our burdens and give us His load instead- his LIGHT load that is marked by rest. When God calls us to something, there will be grace. (It may be homeschool, public school, a job, a relationship, a personal challenge….whatever it is, He offers grace and rest for the journey.)
We will never find rest by pursing the “shoulds”; only in pursuing His leadership in our lives.
God wants to guide us in His path of peace. He longs to be gracious to us, waiting for us to turn it all over to Him and to be led by His voice.
Praying today that whatever your situation may be, that you would have the boldness and clarity of heart to honestly lay your “shoulds” down before God and trust Him to reveal His goodness, strength and direction in your life.
He longs to show us compassion; to replace our heaviness, with the rest that comes from following Him. It is then, and only then, that we can joyfully run the race He has invited us to run.
“Therefore the LORD will wait, that He may be gracious to you; and therefore He will be exalted, that He may have mercy on you.” Isaiah 30:18*disclaimer- this is in NO WAY a slam against homeschool- I admire deeply those who do it and see many wonderful benefits of it. I also realize that He just may lead us back in that direction at some point in life. I’m just following Him day by day. Thanks for letting me be real in this space.