Marriage Monday: How To See Your Spouse Fully Alive (and maybe your most important role)
The clock was ticking, and I was stalling. It was twenty minutes until a local writer’s conference started and I was unloading the dishwasher, puttering around the house, making my bed, dragging my feet to the point of nearly making myself late. My husband finally looked at me and said “You have to go! Go and do your thing!”
My husband is my biggest fan. He aims to see me fully alive. And I do the same the for him. It’s not just a nice mantra, it’s a very practical way of loving each other. For the weekend his supportive love looked like this:
- He pushed me out the door to develop my dreams and hone my craft with no strings attached.
- He gave sincere encouragement, no guilt.
- He held down my responsibilities and the fort; not with perfection, but with active love.
- He showed support by actively enjoying the kids (with trips to the kids museum, chuck-e-cheese, movie night with hot chocolate…hello funnest dad in the world) instead of feigning the part of a martyr for the weekend.
- He has a clear vision for my calling, and regularly prays for my gifts to be developed.
- He sees my calling as something worthy of investment, and gives me permission to invest in myself.
One of the BIGGEST roles of a spouse is to the fan the flame of calling, and inspire the greatness of their spouse to be active and alive.
To see your spouse function with new levels of ambition, creativity and grit is to know that you are a world-class spouse. Because your spouse is married to you, and you are their biggest supporter, they will achieve greater levels of passion, personal development and pursuit of their dreams.
Ask yourself these hard questions:
- Do my spouse’s dreams, passions and ambitions get bigger because of me?
- Do the resources we invest in each other’s destiny grow every year?
- How do I practically invest in the life calling and pursuits of my spouse?
- Read books on becoming a great listener and great question asker. (try the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People
- When your spouse tells you a big dream, goal, idea, hobby or interest, write it down on your own goal sheet so you can consistently bring it up and remind them
- Look for practical ways (books, conferences, classes, training) to creatively resource and encourage them to pursue their dreams.