How To Keep Smartphones From Ruining Your Marriage (a video)

Do you want a smartphone or a smart marriage?

I know that sounds dramatic, but crazy as it sounds, it’s a valid question for many of us.

Not because gadgets and smartphones are evil, but because of the addiction we’ve developed to having them with us and active all.the.time.

Not only does it serve as our phone, it’s our alarm clock, our iPod, our calendar, our GPS, our news source, our kindle, our taxi caller, our flashlight, our fitness instructor, our camera, our actual work, our entertainment, our games, our way of connecting with friends, our on ramp to social media, our recipe holder, our internet, our everything.


It can be a struggle to have a conversation with my husband or a family meal without being interrupted by a ding or an alert from our phones.

Smartphones are obviously amazing.  Life-changing.  And genuinely helpful.  (I love mine if you can’t tell.)  But could they be hurting our connection in marriage?

This cool infographic shows that 95% of people use their phones for something right before going to bed.  Even more startling, 90% of people ages 18-29 sleep with their phones.  And when 1 in 3 smart phone owners would rather give up sex than their phone it’s clear we have a serious problem.

It’s also clear that our marriages (and kids) suffer for it.

Smartphones can give us a lot.  But smartphones can’t give us a good marriage. (tweet this)

I’ve honestly been heartbroken as I listen to women talk about the real effects of the constant use of phones (and video games) on their marriages and their families.  It’s not always an obvious issue, but more of a progressive habit that slowly drains relationships and causes division.

Relationships are being quietly stolen right before our eyes when our technology use goes unchecked.

There’s  no finger-pointing here.  I don’t have it all figured out, and am embarrassed by how quickly (almost like a reflex) I reach for my phone when there is no reason to be using it.

And while I know that I love my smart phone, I’m even more sure that I want more for my marriage…more than the roommate rut and the relational distance that can creep in when we hold our phones closer than our loved ones.

So what do we do if we want to put up some boundaries, but because of work or habit, we don’t think we can fully put our phones away?

In this video I share the one simple thing my husband and I started doing to help overcome the distraction and division that can come from an out-of-whack use of our mobile devices.

Really hope this inspires you to go for more connection in your marriage.  And would love to hear how you deal with this issue in your marriage.

Still not sure?  Check out this little questionnaire to see if your cellphone use/addiction could use some re-aligning.

I want more than the distance that can creep into marriage when we hold our phones closer than our spouse.  (click to tweet)